


There's No Profit in Romance

by WittyWallflower



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Odo/Kira for like 5 seconds, Quark as wingman, eventual Quodo is the plan but i have a feeling its gonna take time to get there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28200399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WittyWallflower/pseuds/WittyWallflower
Summary: Despite a passionate kiss on the Promenade, Odo is reluctant to do anything to progress his relationship with Kira. Quark figures Odo just needs a mentor in the romance department and decides to help.
Relationships: Odo & Quark (Star Trek)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

After handing off a tray of freshly-mixed drink to a waiter, Quark picked up a cloth and set to wiping down barware and making conversation with his companion/thorn in his side, Odo. 

"So, how are things going with the Major?" he asked the changeling who was on his second visit (patrol) to the bar today. "Have you wined and dined her yet?"

Odo, who had scanning the crowd of patrons, swiveled on his stool to face the proprietor himself who smiled a sharp spiky smile.

"Don't look so surprised, I saw you two on the Promenade. That was some kiss." Quark waggled his browridges.

Odo huffed. Yes, it had been rather public. But no one else had the audacity to actually say anything about it to Odo. He was known to be a private person. Even the usually unrestrained Dax had limited herself to a knowing smile he had pretended not to see. But Quark didn't always have the good sense to leave things be.

"So?" Quark wheedled.

"Hmmph."

Odo had a hundred different scoffs and harrumphs he used to express himself and Quark had taken it as a challenge to learn and decipher them all. This one had an element of sheepishness to it.

"You haven't even taken her out for a night on the Promenade yet?" Quark asked, a bit more surprised than he should have been. Yeah, Odo wasn't a social man in general, but in this case he'd been pining for so long...

Odo looked away, swiveling slightly on the stool as if to make another casual scan of his surroundings. But he wasn't good at nonchalance and he knew it was obvious that he was avoiding answering. Just like he was avoiding the issue with Nerys by not doing anything to progress the relationship after that very public display. The kiss had been impulsive: heat of the moment, loss of temper, an eruption of suppressed emotion on both their parts. In a cooler frame of mind in the days that followed, Odo wasn't sure how he felt about it. But it was hard enough to make _himself_ confront that, he certainly wasn't about to discuss it with anyone else. Least of all the Ferengi bartender.

And maybe his silence was for the best because the Ferengi in question's instinctive reaction was to frown in disgust at Odo's shortcomings in the romance department. A man who had been with as many different personalities as Quark had enjoyed the company of didn't do so by accident. It took skill and charm to seduce. Quark wasn't a modest man by nature. He knew what he was good at, when he cared to take the effort.

But Odo... Odo hadn't had a change at gaining those skills, the bartender realized. He had next to zero experience with romantic pursuit, despite managing to get himself married to that Betazoid dynamo. (Now there was a woman Quark would have liked the chance to charm. But she didn't seem to like Ferengi.) Obviously Odo wasn't going to just suddenly turn suave and debonair. But he didn't need to. The Major knew he was a grumpy taciturn man and that didn't appear to bother her. He really wouldn't be Odo otherwise.

He didn't need to change _per se_ , but he could stand to improve his game. A little advice on what solids do, what they expect from the romantic entanglements the constable had spent so many years scoffing at. Quark knew that the changeling had keenly observed everything happening around him, even the things he scoffed at, so he wasn't entirely ignorant. But watching other people do a thing was a far cry from doing the thing yourself when it came to something as mercurial and complex as romance. Even knowing what to do didn't tell you when the right moment was.

What Odo really needed was someon to give him a little guidance. A mentor in amour. And with Quark already there, experienced in these matters, and familiar with the personalities involved, who could be a better choice? He would take Odo under his wing and help ensure the long-pined-for closeness with Kira didn't immediately crash and burn. He would have to tread carefully though. Odo's pride could be touchy, not that he'd ever admit it.

"Well, I can see how it would be tough to plan anything for her," Quark said, voice and manner neutral. Not pushing or presuming or teasing or cajoling. Just talking. "She doesn't like the holosuites and doesn't gamble. She hates Klingon food, and has eaten at the Bajoran cafe hundreds of times... there's not many places on this station to take her for a special night."

Odo turned back to tell him it was none of his business but Quark was frowning thoughtfully and making occasional notations on a padd that had appeared from nowhere. He looked quite preoccupied and usually only latinum absorbed his attention that thoroughly. Odo was keen to know exactly how Quark thought he could wrangle a profit from the constable taking the major on a date. Especially since Odo certainly wouldn't bring Nerys to the Ferengi's disreputable bar for something like that.

Odo really didn't know where he could take Nerys to spend time with her. He saw her every day as it was, in his office, Ops, in the replimat, and yes, sometimes even in Quark's. He enjoyed the time he spent with her but didn't feel a particular need to vary _where_ they spent that time. The company was the same regardless so did it matter? Shouldn't it matter? Shouldn't Odo want take Kira somewhere private? Shouldn't he desire to be alone with her in other situations than security meetings? After spending so long quietly admiring her from a friendly distance, shouldn't he want... _more_?

These were exactly the sort of thoughts Odo had been trying to avoid by leaving the situation with the Major as it was. Thoughts he would have happily kept compartmentalized and tucked away if the Ferengi hadn't pestered him on the subject. He frowned that Quark had found yet another unique new way to annoy Odo and make his life more difficult.

Quark for his part didn't notice Odo's introspection, or the growing scowl of irritation being aimed at himself. He had a plan forming and it was a good one. There wouldn't be much profit in it, practically nothing. But the tiniest potential net gain was all the excuse he needed to bolster his courage enough to bully Odo into letting him arrange an evening of entertainment.

In short, to let Quark plan Odo's first date with Kira.

"Leave it all to me," he insisted over Odo's gruff protestations. "I promise, no holosuites, nothing unsavory. I'm not interested in having you AND the Major on my case because I offended your sensibilities with Orellian belly dancers. I know it goes against your instincts, but please, _trust me_. I'll plan everything, all you have to do is show up."

Before Odo could gather himself to remind Quark of how the Ferengi's plans usually worked out (abysmally), there was a call through the comm. A freighter had docked and its crew decided to disembark while brawling each other. Security was needed to contain the fighters before they spilled onto more public sections of the station. Odo didn't have a chance to say anything else as he left the bar on his way to the scene of the commotion.


	2. Chapter 2

Odo was aware he was technically loitering as he stood outside his own security office. So when he finally spotted his target across the promenade, he was relieved to set off at his usual purposeful stride to intercept her. Major Kira Nerys was engrossed with the data padd she carried and didn't see him until he was right in front of her.

"Oh! Odo! Hi!" She smiled. "I was just on my way to meet you."

"I know. I, uh, I thought we might relocate to the replimat today for a change of scenery."

It sounded innocuous enough; it wasn't uncommon for crew to complete some of their lighter duties on a padd at the replimat while nursing a raktajino. But Kira knew him too well.

"Okay, what's going on?" she asked with an assessing frown, blunt as ever.

Odo was a creature of routine and took pride in adhering to that routine exactly when he could, enjoyed the discipline and sense of control it gave him. Not that he wasn't adaptable to a lot of situations but he didn't subscribe to the humanoid need to 'change things up a little' just for the sake of it. Kira, who had had quite enough sudden, dramatic (often violent) upheavals in her life, had always appreciated that about him. The reliability was comforting. She made an extra effort to be punctual when meeting him.

Odo sighed and decided that being direct was best. Nerys was a straight-forward person who didn't trouble to hide her emotions and motivations behind a lot of false politeness or subtle subterfuge. She spoke her mind and Odo appreciated that about her. When things changed, like they were about to, and he wasn't sure where they stood with each other she always let him know soon enough. And in no uncertain terms.

"Nerys... we need to talk."

In truth it was a conversation better had in private. But selfishly Odo did not want the pleasant memories of their morning meetings in his office tainted if this went badly.

Kira searched his face for a long moment, then gave a slow nod of agreement.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think we do."

They were silent for the short trip to the replimat. Odo spoke only as they approached.

"Do you want your usual raktajino?" he asked, gesturing towards the bank of replicators.

"I do, but let's sit and talk first. I can tell this is bothering you."

They took an open table in a corner. Now confronted with it, Odo wasn't sure what to say. He'd been thinking about it a lot the past few days, coming up with a dozen turns of phrase to use. But now his carefully prepared speeches all abandoned him. He would just have to muddle through somehow.

Kira's eyes were gently encouraging.

Odo took a deep breath he didn't need and exhaled it from lungs he didn't have. He'd been living with solids too long, their body language was becoming natural to him. He had no physical need for things like sighs, but they certainly were effective at communicating what he was feeling without him actually having to say it.

"Nerys, I do love you. It's important to me that you know that," he began with a quiet earnestness. "But..."

He groped for the words.

Kira, Prophets bless her, came to his rescue with them.

"But.... things are more complicated than we expected, aren't they? Because of Gaia." She said it rather than asked it, and he knew she understood.

He nodded.

"The fact that someone could love me enough to do something like that... It was flattering, in a sick kind of way, but it made me uncomfortable."

Her words were carefully gentle, but he could tell it was a relief to make the admission out loud.

"And I myself am less than comfortable with the knowledge I am capable of doing such a thing, whatever the motivation," Odo said, frowning inwardly. It had called into questions a lot of things Odo had taken for granted about himself. About what sort of person he really was.

"Hey, Odo, that wasn't you," Nerys insisted. "That was him. Changed into someone else by several lifetimes of grief and loss and regret. Prophets only know what other traumatic things he ight have experienced over the centuries to warp him like that. _You_ wouldn't make that choice, Odo. I know that."

Kira leaned forward and took his hand on the table, giving it a reassuring squeeze as before continuing.

"But it forced the issue between us, instead of giving things a chance to develop naturally when we were ready. With Gaia, having the specter of all those lives hanging over our heads... I'll be honest, Odo. I don't think a romance between us could survive that. But our friendship can. I hope." She smiled a question at him.

Odo smiled back and nodded his agreement, turning his hand to clasp hers palm to palm.

"Of course."

A wealth of unspoken understanding passed between them. It was enough, knowing they cared for each other deeply. Romance wasn't necessary to make their connection any stronger, and a failed relationship would only drive a wedge between them. Odo understood now another facet of the complicated emotion of love, the many forms it can take between different individuals. None more meaningful than another, each fulfilling in its own unique way.

"Now," Kira spoke again, briskly changing the subject as a favor to them both. Neither was a fan of emotionally-charged moments and since they were in accord, nothing more needed to be said. "I'm going to grab that raktajino and we'll go over the crime report like always. Back to normal then?"

"Back to normal," Odo agreed, with as sincere a smile as his flat mouth could manage.

Kira slapped her hands decisively on the table as she stood, grinning at him before she headed to the replicator.

Odo kept smiling broadly (insofar as the term can be applied to his inexpressive features) at her retreating back. He'd been anxious for nothing after all. He hadn't been at all sure ending his fledgling relationship with Kira was really the right thing to do, but now he was convinced. They were both visibly relieved, as if a burden had been lifted. Odo didn't doubt that Kira cared for him, was attracted to and interested in him enough to pursue things this far to begin with. But their friendship had been so fulfilling to both of them, so comfortable. Very little by way of anxiety or uncertainty. It was already chancy to risk that friendship by trying for more, but with the Gaia drama it would have been nearly impossible to act like themselves and allow things to progress naturally.

* * *

This far across the Promenade, not even Ferengi ears could pick up on the conversation between the constable and the major. Quark had been spying since he'd noticed Odo hanging around outside the security office for no obvious reason. The man detested a loiterer. When he had spotted and approached Kira, the changeling's tense body language made more sense.

Just the previous night he had informed Odo that everything was set for his little rendezvous with the major. All Odo had to do was invite her to meet him at the appropriate place, at the time Quark had double-checked to confirm was during her off duty hours. Odo had only scoffed and rolled his eyes and made such a show about his usual hunt for crime, Quark hadn't had a chance to relate any more of the details.

Large lobes could almost hear the agitated goo noises now as Odo took a seat in the replimat. He already knew the Major liked him so why did the changeling look so grave about asking her to dinner? Sure, Odo was new at this stuff, but he didn't need to look like he was facing a firing squad, or worse, a tax auditor.

But after a few minutes Kira reached out and took Odo's hand, and the smiles they traded before she headed to the replicator were sunny. It looked like the date was good to go.

Quark figured he had better confirm all his carefully laid plans. Normally he'd be pestering Odo for deposits on a few things (non-refundable, of course) but he knew that would be pushing it. Odo hadn't exactly agreed to the deal, but he also hadn't said no. And given how much Odo enjoyed telling him no whenever he got the chance, that was as good as a yes for Quark. He'd just have to front the latinum himself on the sly, just to have it on the books. Not charging a deposit at all would be a terrible example to set for his young Ferengi employees. Besides, he knew Odo was good for it. The man's deeply-ingrained sense of justice wouldn't stand for him skipping out on a bill, even (or perhaps especially) one owed to his Ferengi archnemesis.


	3. Chapter 3

Odo's internal chronometer was near perfect, and he quite simply did not forget his schedule ever. Even the appointments added to it that he had no desire to attend. So when his mind began niggling at him that he had somewhere to be, Odo frowned in exasperation. He had never told Quark to cancel the arrangements that had been made.

Odo had been so relieved by how well things had gone with Kira. And since he no longer had any plans to romance her, he had put Quark's schemes to that purpose entirely out of his head. It simply had not been a priority. But now he was going to have to deal with it. With an unneccessry sigh, he left his office and went to find Quark.

When he arrived, the little man greeted him eagerly.

"Great, you're early! You can check out the details while I finish setting up. First, come sit here. I want to make sure the candles are the right height. So you two can gaze at the fire in each others eyes and not the flame on the wick." He waggled his brow ridges suggestively.

Odo rolled his eyes at Quark's exaggerated smarm while the bartender hustled him into one of the chairs and then stepped back to look over it all with a measuring gaze. The small table Odo sat at was topped with an elegantly draped cloth on which lay two table settings, and a delicately wrought candlebra that surprised Odo. It wasn't a gaudy Ferengi style. In fact it looked like Bajoran craftsmanship. A small detail Kira would have appreciated if she had been there to notice it.

Quark stepped up to sit in the chair across from him. Odo frowned a question at the smaller man.

"Just checking. Kira's not much taller than me," Quark explained with a shrug. If it worked for him it would work fine for her. He stretched his arms out, palms down across the table. "The table is a little bigger than I was hoping to get my hands on. Still cozy, but if you can find a subtle way to shapeshift your arms just an inch or two longer, it will be a lot more comfortable for her to hold your hand across the table."

"She won't be holding anything," Odo said. "The Major isn't coming."

"Oh no, Odo. Don't tell me you got scared and canceled! How can you get cold feet when you don't even have real feet?" Quark asked in obvious dismay.

"No!" Odo protested. Then quite uncharacteristically, he lied. "Something came up, station business."

Stung by the slight against his courage, he certainly wasn't about to admit he had never invited Nerys to join him in the first place. If Quark learned that Odo had decided not take things further with Kira, he would likely assume the changeling was running scared from his first love affair. The Ferengi, to Odo's chagrin, had always had an annoyingly good insight into the changeling's feelings for the Major. Quark had known how Odo felt before Odo understood it himself. And Quark would be relentlessly annoying if he decided that all Odo needed was his encouragement and advice to make him brave.

"Oh. Well, that's a shame."

Deflating slightly, Quark looked around at all the now-unnecessary efforts he had taken.

"I'm sorry," Odo apologized without considering why he was doing so.

Quark squinted at him in confusion. "You're sorry? For what? I'm not the one who got stood up."

"Well, you went to quite a bit of effort."

"Its the same thing I do in the bar," Quark said, waving a dismissive hand. "Just somewhere a lot quieter, which actually makes for a nice change of pace." His hand moved to gesture to his ears

That much was true. The suggestion that he was just serving meals and drinks as usual was not. He had spent the better part of an hour schlepping everything up to this out-of-the-way observation viewport. To say nothing of the hours of preparation, making arrangements, sorting out the menu full of delectable food.

The food.

Quark turned and made a wry face at the selection of covered dishes on a side table. No sense in letting it go to waste.

"At least I'll get a good meal out of it," he said.

"What were you going to serve?" Odo asked, curious.

"Some Earth dish made with a creature called a prawn. I looked it up, some kind of large water bug? I don't know but it looked tasty enough. Anyway, Sisko says the spice palette is similar to hasperat-"

"Sisko?" Odo interrupted to ask. If Quark had been running his mouth all over the station...

"When the Bajorans got obsessed with all things human for a while there, I asked him for some recommendations for my customers. Unique Earth dishes near and dear to the Emissary's heart and all that. I had to spend an hour listening to him talk about the food his father makes. But some of the replicator patterns I got out of it have done pretty well. And I'm pretty sure Kira hasn't tried the more adventurous ones like this."

"I see."

Maybe Odo felt bad for doubting Quark's discretion. The little man did know how to keep a secret when it was worth his while. His secrecy was the source of half the animosity between them.

"Just good business," Quark said with a shrug.

Quark filled a plate for himself with steaming prawn creole, with a side of Bajoran root vegetables (rice did not agree with Bajoran digestion), and a square of mapa bread. He set his plate down, then lifted the one sitting in front of Odo to deposit a single scoop of the entree before replacing it. Odo lifted a non-existence eyebrow at that.

"You know I don't eat," he pointed out.

Quark swiped his coattails out of the way as he sat.

"No one expects you too. But sometimes solids feel a little awkward when someone is sitting there staring at them while they eat. You might consider pushing it around the plate a little now and again, just for the appearance of keeping her company."

"This subterfuge is unnecessary, I-" Odo decided he had better explain things to Quark but the other man interrupted him.

"Its not _subterfuge_ , Odo, you're not lying about anything. Its not about pretending to be something you aren't. But making small concessions to the comfort of another is a way of showing you care. It doesn't have to all be big dramatic gestures and passionate kisses on the Promenade."

Odo wasn't sure exactly how much Quark knew about the fiasco that had been Gaia. He wondered what Quark would think of the 'grand gesture' that had saved one woman at the expense of an entire society.

Instead of asking he just harrumphed and Quark took the opportunity to tuck into the food. It was tasty enough, the Major wouldn't have been unhappy with it. It wasn't a very Ferengi flavor, and of course the dull-toothed humans would remove the succulent flesh from what was probably a delightfully crunchy shell, but Quark wasn't unhappy with it either. He nodded his approval and poured himself a glass of wine as he chewed.

"I thought you didn't like springwine," Odo asked.

"I don't like _inferior_ springwine. Since the Occupation ended the vintners have been in such a hurry to put out as many bottles as they can to established their brands, they aren't all that concerned with quality. The pre-Occupation stuff though, worth every strip if you know where to find it."

Finding it had been important to keeping Dukat and his top officers happy back in the days of Terok Nor.

Quark lifted his glass in an ironic silent toast to Odo before taking a sip, and make a soft sound of satisfaction as he smacked his lips. Well, even if the rest of the night was a wash, at least he got to enjoy a bottle he'd been sitting on for a decade. In another five to ten years he would have been able to sell it for at least 5 times its original value. Since Quark was drinking it himself now, he'd only charge Odo double.

As Quark returned his attention to the food, Odo took the chance to look around. It was a tiny, out-of-the-way corner with a large viewport, ostensibly part of the observation decks. Usually there was a small console, and a potted Bajoran plant hardy enough to sustain extended neglect. The little-used corridor turned sharply before the alcove and hid it from sight of passersby. With the rich colors of the table and the soft light from the candles, the spare little room of harsh Cardassian architecture was softened into a cozy little bower. Odo noticed for the first time a small tray of flowering plants lining the bottom edge of the viewport. It looked suspiciously like equipment from Mrs. O'Brien's botany department.

Before Odo could ask Quark if he'd sought permission before purloining the plants, the flower petals changed color. Or appeared to as a new source of light found them: the wormhole opening with a flash and a glow. Fifteen kilometers away but looking close enough to touch from this angle. Up here, the rest of the station fell away, not impeding the few of the celestial light show the Bajorans had such reverence for.

If Kira was here, she would have been awed into silence. Seeing the wormhole burst into sight dozens of times couldn't dim the beauty of the scene here.

Even Quark set his fork down to watch, his knobby but familiar features shining in the light until the wormhole disappeared with another flash.

Quark gave him a smile before he resumed eating. Odo, after a slight hestiation, returned it. And instead of excusing himself, as he really had no reason to remain, he stayed seated until Quark finished the meal. Outside of their usual environments, their usual roles of criminal and lawman, their conversation was surprisingly quite companionable.


End file.
